I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The feeling are messing with the penis
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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