HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
