Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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