You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
