Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
