I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
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He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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