and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
