Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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