I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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