The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
