take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize