Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
