Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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