Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
