He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
