Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
