Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
