Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
