you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
