im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
