That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
