He disabled his match.com account in front of me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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