..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
