If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
