How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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