he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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