Please, let me fuck your mom
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
