i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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