So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
