i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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