I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
