Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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