Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
