i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
