She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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