i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
