Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
