your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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