We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
and you fell through a lawn chair
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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