I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
