so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
