It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
