"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
God, I missed his penis.
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