right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
