Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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