I'm really into asian looking animals
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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