So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
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My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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