Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
