she woke up with a sticky ear
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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