i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
