I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
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If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
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I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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