Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
