my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
