Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
