I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
