it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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