Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
