I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Everyone says I win the strip club
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
